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Shailene Woodley Is Devoting The Lockdown Learning To ‘Love Myself’

“I can’t run from myself”

Actress Shailene Woodley is living alone in a cabin, somewhere of the West Coast, and single-handedly beating all the be-productive-while-quarantining goals by doing what most people often neglect prioritizing- learning to love herself.

Despite the pandemic, life goes on as usual for many, but for Shailene Woodley the only option, while she “stuck in a house by myself with my own thoughts, during a global pandemic” is to “deal with all the things I’ve never dealt with.”

Woodley recently broke up with rugby player Ben Volavola after dating him for almost 3 years. 

“I was in a relationship with someone and we were very much on the road to marriage and children,” shared the actress. It was while she was filming her latest release, Endings Beginnings, wherein she played the character of a 30-something woman navigating love and heartbreak over the course of a year, she had an epiphany.

“I realized I was still at an age where I wasn’t able to fully commit. I couldn’t be available to him in the way that I wanted to be. I didn’t fully love myself,” she shared. She has taken up painting and is heading towards growing personally, which also involves laying on the floor and crying, but she knows that it is all involved in the path of truly finding herself. 

Woodley had an unhealthy, trauma-based relationship with s**

Like her character in Big Little Lies, Woodley, too, has had “very traumatic sexual experiences.” 

“There have been times in my personal life where [I] want to experience something with someone, but you’re so afraid because of whatever it is [so] you stop yourself,” Woodley added. 

She went on to share how her recovery from her personal trauma was being in an open relationship for years, where she learned “a lot about my own body and my own emotional connection to s**” and that in turn healed her “relationship with sexuality”. 

Today, she considers the act of being physically intimate with someone “one of the most underrated, underappreciated, and undervalued experiences that we have.”

And now, she will be devoting the 28th year of her life to personal growth

For now, her priority is to focus on herself, not aim for a rose-tinted life like everyone, at least not until she is 100% ready for it. 

“I was trying to use relationships to distract me from getting to know myself,” Woodley said, adding that she’s now out of places to hide in and has only one option- to face herself. “I can’t run from myself. I can try, but my house is not that big.”

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